Approval of Others

The Need to Gain The Approval of Others is a Basic Human Need

“The more we grow and become adults, the more we have to give in order to receive in return.” – Noel Batten.

What Our Personality Needs (Recognition)

Regardless of our male and female nature and our character, we all have one thing that sustains and builds our personality, and that is the need for appreciation and gratitude, the need for the recognition of others.

The need to gain the approval of others is a basic need from our early childhood years. Each of us has a need to gain recognition that stimulates our personality, and this need is so important to our state of mind that a lack of recognition can lead to severe bouts of anxiety, irritability, and even depression. The reason for this deep human nature need is the building of an automatic pattern of behavior as a result of the large doses of attention, support, approval and praise we receive as babies and toddlers. When we are supported and encouraged to take our first steps and say our first words, and even when we play or do something together with our parents, we get recognition.

As we grow up, we must learn to develop new abilities to gain recognition. The more we grow and become adults, the more we have to give in order to receive in return.

Nature requires in its development and growth that we all learn the art of satisfying the need of every human being to receive recognition. Even people who have achieved great success in their lives will not be awarded recognition and respect if they themselves cannot appreciate and recognize the merits of others and endow them with the feeling of gratitude in the common struggle for happiness and satisfaction in life. That is why many successful and wealthy people still feel dissatisfaction and depression, even though everything in their life seems to be rosy.

When a child calls his parent to come and see what he has done, it’s not so important what the child has actually done, but how we respond to his call and how we give him our support and approval. Everyone around us needs recognition in a certain area of their character, and if we can satisfy this specific need, we will command and receive the truest respect.

Sometimes the recognition alone is enough to solve any of our sleep problems for a short time and give us enough energy to enter the nearest sports competition and easily win the first place.


I have a feeling that all the questions I’ve discussed will stimulate the same attitude we had as children when we rushed to bed so we could wake up faster in the morning and look forward to the next day. The key to full energy and good sleep lies in our need to accomplish all the things that will make us fall asleep with the excitement and thrill of tomorrow filled with anticipation and hope. To achieve all these things, sometimes we need to go back to the things and events in our life that we have turned our backs on and admit our mistakes and faults so that we can learn and become wiser from the experience. In some cases, we may need to give forgiveness and expand our understanding of the spiritual aspects of life. And in many cases, we may simply have to put our faith in ourselves back on our feet and set a new purpose in life that will generate and stimulate enthusiasm and joy for life and bring out the vitality and energy of our personality.

The three requirements for success in life

Honorable achievement of goals for the spirit, self-discipline for the body, and giving and receiving love for the soul (We are made of spirit, body, and soul. 1 Thessalonians, 5:23). In the Holy Trinity this is expressed in the unity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. (Genesis, 1:26) “to create man in Our image, (and) after Our likeness”.

This interplay between mind, body and soul is difficult to understand, but its effect is quite evident in people who have been separated from their parents since birth. The emotional pain of being adopted at birth never goes away, and most people who have had that fate think about it every night before they go to sleep. Additionally, they feel an overwhelming and compulsive urge to reunite with their biological parents, even if they have been raised by loving adoptive parents. Some children who do not know they are adopted sometimes feel that they somehow do not belong to their adoptive family.

These overwhelming emotional states can only be brought about by our spiritual nature (consisting of spirit and soul) which is by nature designed to stimulate the full bonding of a family to make possible the full support of each and every member of a family as “one whole”.

The message of the trinity

The message of life is that we must learn to be confident and secure, to encourage and support our family and be true to them as if “we are all one” because any negative experiences of one of the family will affect anyone else in it until things are fixed.

All diseases produced as a natural reaction can be attributed to the lack of some of these aspects of security, positive attitude and support and loyalty in the family. These are the three aspects of God within us – Father, Son and Holy Spirit. God is in all of us.



Beautiful Sleep, Abundant Energy – Noel Batten, 2012