“Best is that choice which evokes the best in us. What is best for us is what is best for others. In relationships, we should not allow ourselves to be martyrs or victims.” – Dimitar Hadzhiyski
Why are relationships so important to us?
It is through relationships with others that we exist in the universe. Relationships are a constant challenge for us. Through them we invoke, express, create and experience aspects of ourselves. There is no better place to discover ourselves than in our relationships with others. Without relationship we cannot achieve our goals. Every relationship is essential, every relationship helps us discover who we really are.
Why do human relationships sometimes fail?
The purpose of human relationships is to have someone to share our lives with. Relationships are entered into to find ourselves, not to lose ourselves. Therefore, we must first see ourselves as worthy, and then see others as worthy so we can create this relationship. Human relationships never truly fail when they rest on love. They only fail when we enter them for the wrong reasons. Until we use relationships as a tool to create ourselves, we will fail. We will fail when we don’t respect our feelings, we will fail when we don’t respect our partners point of view. No one can tolerate someone else who is considered more worthy than him, who is considered superior. We need to enter into every relationship with a clear goal, wisely and responsibly. Wisdom is a teacher who has been through enough experiences to know the next choice to make. Wisdom requires us to be constantly aware of ourselves, always evolving towards a higher understanding of the meaning and consequences of the relationships we enter into.
Which choice is best?
Best is that choice that evokes the best in us. What is best for us is what is best for others. Therefore, when entering into a relationship, we always need to include ourselves among those we love. In relationships, we should not allow ourselves to be martyrs or victims.
There should be no obligations, restrictions and rules in relationships. Any relationship where there is an obligation sooner or later fails. At the heart of all healthy relationships is not what we are obligated to do, but what we can do. Valuable relationships are created only when each person can express himself in a dignified way, helping his partner to be himself and follow his chosen path.
Under what circumstances do we not need to enter into relationships?
Relationships are a necessity, but at the same time they are a burden when we enter them with the wrong motives and reasons. Relationships become a burden when we want to fill some void in our lives driven by selfish motives. Some enter into intimate relationships to avoid loneliness. Others enter a relationship to have a sex life. Still others enter a relationship to soothe their ego or depression. A fourth want to recover from previous unsatisfying relationships.
None of the above reasons will lead us to satisfying relationships until we realize that we create the circumstances through which we enter into unsatisfying relationships. Driven by the wrong motives, unprepared and immature, we will never feel satisfied when we enter into relationships with others. The purpose of real relationships is to be mutually satisfying, to be based on mutual help, not on taking advantage of each other. True relationships can be built when we listen to both our own needs and the needs of others, our partners. So instead of looking at what others think of us, we need to understand what they need. We need to understand and respect what others are going through.
God only participates in equal relationships. We will achieve equal relationships by transforming accumulated negative karma into positive.
“The Age of Aquarius: Reality – Evolution – Consciousness”, Dimitar Hadjiyski